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XXXXXEven now,
part of me
(my hands)
want to
pull out
that glass
she lodged
in her neck.

Pull it out
and drop it
into pieces,
or keep it
in the back seat
of my car.

Where it can
lay a while
and stare at me.
Part of me
(my chest)
is not afraid
of demons.

It is far less
dangerous
than girls with
haphazard knives
and other
monsters.
A Rebel's BloodI lived on hollow promises and
dreams as thin as mist.

And kings and lords
who offer gold
in return for my head.

Through the Golden Palace Gates
I'm met with oaths, made to be broken.
I'm met with lies and truths, unspoken.
I'm met with eyes that have seen what I
never dreamed of seeing.
And eyes of crying, blind, fresh beings.
I'm met with suffocated desires.
I'm met with raging hateful fires.

There's a masked man who was paid
a few million pieces to chop my head.
He raises a sword. All what there ever was fades.

I shut my eyes...
I breathe.
Chasing Butterflies
I believe in starry nights writing timeless songs
of all the yesterdays and tomorrows yet to come.

I believe in hearing the voice of love in rhyme;
I heard it as a child in my mother's lullabies.

Let's go down to the river now
and chase the butterflies.

I believe in playing, absorbing life's full sun,
dancing through the day until the night is done.

I believe in wishing wells never running dry,
granting us the time for a tender, slow goodbye.

Let's go down to the river now
and chase the butterflies.

Should I cross to the other side,
don't you worry; don't you cry.

There you'll see where tomorrow I'll be,
forever chasing butterflies...
on excusesthe floor creaked with a pressing tone
and my toes crept sadly toward you.
i heard the sounds
deep inside of your throat-
before they could come out,
before you could think them,
before you could stutter an
apology.

i was up all night and
the thought that, you,
were sleeping somewhere
naked, with your fingers
stretching and your dreams
retching up what you couldn't
admit to awake- was too much for me.
maybe if i
was next to you while you
were dreaming, your body
would admit to me that you
loved me. and you wanted to make
me cum. it had been so long.

you blinked hard, fast
your eyes shaking, dying fish.
i pulled you apart
like the ribbon
HollowHollow
Is her chest.

She feels around for emotions;
Sadness and anger is what she has mastered the best.

World moves around her
In top-speed rate,

While she stands still or get maneuvered around
Like a dense grey stone in the rapids of fate.

Erosion shapes her outsides
As a rough unapproachable being;

It builds up the pressure inside
Where she's really quite more softer than what you're seeing.

But don't expect for there to be a heart,
It's already shattered to pieces and is reformed from charred coals;

Even now and again it is crumbling apart;
Life has filled it with so many holes....

Hollow
Is her chest.

She feels no emotion,
Exce
EqualityEquality

Today my rainbow flag
Stands proud next to
The American flag.

Today my flag is counted
Equal. Represents equality
To our nation.

Today the rainbow flag
Represents the gay
Community not as a

Separate any longer
But as a whole. As
My state Minnesota
Legalizes gay marriage.
procedureMidazolam

the formula for amazement: a rare pollen from the surplus field
where horses haven’t grazed since April’s warm orgy
left a bindweed pink disease,
unrepenting against chainlink,
nights spent foraging for a spectre to grieve over,
to watch for while it elevates and descends
like a dumb waiter serving sunlight
to jealous little bastards, birthed and trailing in umbilicals,
sleepy, glass-eyed hydras
who never listen to anything,
uninvolved in my tiny drama,
the feeling of losing my treasured afflictions,  
the mythos that fastens the concrete to dirt,
the wind to my spirit-skin,
is dulling the edges of the skyhead
On The Collapse Of Modern Society"I've never seen so many folks
putting their hopes 
in packaged air,
as far as I'm concerned,
and from what I've observed
misplacing material worth while 
rushing back and forth
to get nowhere."
my Grandma said, 
shaking her head.
BalanceWe tend to see the bad in the good
But not the good in the bad
And it turns out we missed
Just how much good we had
Because life is all ups and downs
As the saying goes
But instead of striving for ups
We just go with the flow
We overlook what’s around us
And only focus within
When it should be about balance
Like a bird in the wind
Too strong, too weakWe were on the verge of wisdom but
So young, still.
As young as the freshly born flowers,
Too weak for winter, too strong for love.
We've believed often that the world 
Belonged to us
And we let our emotions take us deep.
We were young lovers,
Young haters,
Young liars,
And young fools.
My mother taught me to block out my tears.
She said that when we start feeling, truly feeling
We will sink into the abyss of madness.
"I will never love. I will never hate," said the golden girl.
"I will never cry. I will never fear," said she.
Within A BoxIt's a prison for the minds of haunted souls
an odd prison, not large enough to contain its prisoners
and yet it encompasses every fiber of their being 
in silent, silent spaces.
Haunted souls are searching for the key
there is no key, but they don't know any better
and what harm could it do? Hope is better than nothing
here's an unlocked open door for you.
Little trinkets haunt souls with their questions
and we want answers, but they won't give
anything away. Very smart,
you know the world is ending soon.
(The best of which are only
crude descriptions of the magic
they are looking for.)
Evolution of life
child, we dream
teenager, we have ideas
adult, we have a bar code encrusted in the nape

we evolve to finish in the matrix
Prayer to Odin from experienceAl-father Odin! You who hung for 9 days and suffered on the tree of Yggdrasil.
In so you received and gave us the runes and its mysteries.
You who have given up an eye to see and know beyond sight and knowledge.
Allow me to be strong through my own sacrifice and suffering.
So that one day, I can achieve great wisdom through what has happened to me.
Allow my mind to open and to focus on what i must do.
One day, I cannot always criticize what is before me.
From experience, I was angry and put down a faith that i knew was untrue.
Though you may have smacked me upside the head a few times
for my foolishness and ignorance. But I did deserve it a
Second BestI always win silver, never gold;
I'm constantly pushed to the
Back seat of life, envious eyes
Fixed on the powerful driver's seat.

Someone is better than me, not
Once but annoyingly all the time.
I give the essence of passion and
Yet modesty lacks bright success.

Perhaps throwing my hands up
In the air with defeat is the
Only good thing in my miserable life;
I will always be second best.
NatureIt’s nature to cry
The only piece given to human beings.
It’s nature to be aggressive
To have the drive to live.
It’s nature to love
To care for those around
Just like it’s nature to fail
Just once or twice.
It’s nature
Yes
To be human.
Acting like a machine
Goes against this nature.
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More from ~Retracing-Steps

Nana's Story(Please tell me about your life, in general: )
     I was born during the depression in Chicago, Illinois. I spent my first birthday in the Cook County Hospital with a double ear infection. I then returned to the hospital when I was four years old to have my tonsils out, and I remember that well. Then when I was eight, I was back at the hospital with another ear infection. And.. I was never back in the hospital again until I had my first baby in 1954. I was born in Chicago and lived there until 1941, nine years old, and that's when we moved to the south suburb of Homewood. I really liked it there. It was a great place to grow up and I had g
SecretsSecrets fill you
to the brim
So much it fills
it's hard to swim
through all the lies
Surprise surprise
I never knew you
anyhow

Things I can't see
Likely swear at me
behind my back
Try to keep
from angry attacks
at my emotion,
at my thoughts

No answer
no answer
but maybe
silent cancer
spread upon
the mind and eyes
Surprise surprise
I never knew you
anyhow

Plague me
Leave me,
leave me
Take what you want
and just leave me
Get out of my life
Get out of my heart
Now is the time
for us to part
Please just go
before my emotions throw
me overboard
and leave me
empty
Never Wanted to Hurt You
I've been thinking all this time
hoping that it'll all be fine
Looking for your eyes
that hide away beneath the lies
To the sincerest of minds,
to the falsest of smiles
I try
Try to hide it all
try to catch myself
before I fall
But nothing stopping us
nothing's there,
What's the fuss?
Are we almost there?

Leave me now
and pow,
the pain is coming again
to spread upon heart
and bring back tears
They start
trickling down cheeks
The thoughts and regret
that just seeks
me silently
I never wanted to hurt you..

Carefully I choose my words
but my hate for you stirs
up emotions I can't control
and eventually they take toll
Painful Love- The Letter(1/23/05)

I'll regret this.. Please try to understand..

Oh, I'll regret this. I know I will. Because for every caring word I give you, you shall use it as something to shoot back and hurt me with. And, I suppose this is foolish of me too, because I'm giving up my little sanctuary, to someone who can't seem to even stand to hear me. .... But you know, how I can't hold anything inside? All I want is for you to understand. You make me feel so guilty... Like everything I do.. Everything I do is bad. You killed me, and killed me quite well. I now know heartbreak. Oh yay. Isn't it wonderful.... The twisted insides, the crying, the feeling worthle
Never, Longer than ForeverForever seems like a long time
A long time to be away
a long time to be gone
But nothing compares to never
this feels so much longer than forever
Forever, if it's until I die
it still would feel like longer
This never
that's forever
Never is longer than forever
It stretches long
it stretches dark
Forever cowers
away from this threatening form
Never is so much longer
so much stronger
and never, it seems to be
the answer to all of this
all of me
You never leave
to be gone forever
Leave me now
be gone
but never
Never never never
it feels so much longer
than gone forever
I wish you would leave
Leave me now
Forever is
The Sweetest DaysThe sweetest days,
they come with laughs
With a bunch of friends
who guide my path
From the dark, into the light
that I was blind to
lost, what I thought I couldn't do
You prove me wrong
The sweetest days
they come with confidence and sun
on those days around the city
when I just run
Around and around
till I can't anymore
till my legs are sore
and burst into fits of giggles
and the redicule
of this strange act
in the city...

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March 31, 2005
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Just Before Class - Rush

:iconretracing-steps:

Sitting here,
I'm in a rush
to finish now
without a fuss
My memory,
it deceives
as this homework
was not remembered

Told right now,
by sitting friend
that there is something
at the end
of school
that had slipped my mind...
Memory left behind

Now I sit
and now I wait
for the sound of feet
we can't escape
Class soon begins---
Here she comes
with coffee in hand
and click clack shuns
any ideas
of escaping now
Here she comes,
to the waiting crowd
of students by her door
:iconretracing-steps:
It was my homework to write a poem.. I had forgotten, so I wrote a poem about it.
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